How would you act in this situation?

[amandaajg]

I am starting a novel about a women who just lost her husband of five years. The only thing she has left is her baby boy and her best friend.
My problem that I have come to is that there are so many different ways that I want to explain and expound on her grief. I can't choose one I like. So my question is that if you were in a situation where you just lost your husband and have a baby, and a friend for life that you just moved in with...what would be your next step? How would you handle the grief? Would you stuff it inside and focus only on trying to be a single mother and then deal with it when the grief finally surfaced, or would you grieve first and allow your life to feel messed up for a while? Or is there any other way I haven't thought of? I would love some input!

I don't want this to be offensive to anyone in anyway who has been or is a widow. I apologize if it is. I mainly want this information to further help me empathize with the character that I am trying to create.

[tdubsrocks]

hi amanda. i think it would be better if she bottled it up for a while but then it wastoo much to hande so she had to share the grief with the world. when all is becoming better she finds someone who is willing to support her and her son. i hope this can help!

[Taryn Giulia Wood]

I think that you should allow yourself to explore what it means to be a wife and then what it means to be a seperate mother before you look into how she she grieves. maybe she is a strong chracter or maybe she is weak and then there is the idea that maybe she doesn't want to feel anything and tries to cover it up. it also depends on where you want to go with the story. if you know what it feels like to be a married woman then try for one second to understand the grief one could feel from suddenly loosing the one thing that makes you feel like you exist and then add a child to that. now remember a young child is no where near an adult one so here she would probably make herself strong for her child, that is to say she is not a selfish woman. I'm sure she is not. Maybe she finds an outlet like painting or dance class in order to keep her going so in some way she grieves his death but in other ways she bottles up all her pain and fear from her everyone specifically her child. this way she can push herself futher from there you can take it pretty much anywhere. Hope this helps, goodluck with your book...

[princetongirl818]

Dear Amanda,
I have been in the same situation alot as well, I enjoy writing sad stories, and romance. So maybe you could have the widow show her grief, maybe distances her self from everyone and expecially of her son. Then she may meet someone who can support or maybe she could become a lesbian(nooffence to anyone) or jus tlive without anyone else. Maybe she could leave her son with her friend and run away? I hope I have helped
Yours Truly
Ellie Gall

[Disillusioned.Morpheus]

I learned long ago to not over think things when I want them to become TRUE and NATURAL. To understand your character....Simple write AS HER, you will see how her life unfolds as that happens. Do not allow your mind to box up into patterns, storylines and sequences...Allow it to flourish and create a universe we can feel, see, taste and touch...even if by words. Make us know her, not read about her story.

Unleash your ability on us! - - - Make us grieve for her, make us smile when she feels a man is actually loving her, make us feel her motherhood as she coddles her child and falls prey to her memories of the man who gave her that beautiful angel she calls Son.

Let the story come to life - give it room to grow. We don't plan the steps of how our plants grow or how soon they bear fruit or bloom. Nurture "her" and we will see her become real.

I hope this had helped.
- Mish